Relax! You Can Get Married, Even if You Can’t Dance!

Youtube is great. But it’s not necessarily what weddings should be about.

You’ve got work to do at your wedding. You’re getting married. That’s actually where you want your focus to be on your wedding day, not on whether or not you’re going to nail the over-the-shoulder-flip (in your poofy dress!) during the reception.

Learn a lovely fox trot. If you’re already dancers, you can spice it up a skootch. But really, what you want to be focused on while you’re dancing is how much you love one another, rather than remembering a routine.

Tip: Just be your lovely, wonderful, in-love selves. That will be a marvelous thing to see!

Wedding Song: What to do with it!

There are so many places to use your wedding song to enhance your wedding day once you’ve chosen the perfect songs. What you’ll need is a/some musician(s) with some versatility. (Or if you’re using a dj, you might want a song that was done by several different artists so that you have some options for what feel you want when.) Otherwise, you’ll want to have the song reset for each of these:

At your wedding ceremony:  Walk down the aisle to your song. Or listen to it while you light a unity candle or exchange rings. Ask your celebrant to talk about why this song makes sense in your life. You can have someone sing it or have it played as an instrumental. Read the words as poetry. Use it to enhance the wedding ceremony and your wedding vows. Start your community connecting the song with your choice to share your lives.

At the cocktail hour: Have the song played as you’re introduced. Chose a different setting of the song, maybe jazzy or soft. Don’t talk about it here; let the reinforcement be subliminal.

Later, at the reception: Dance to your song as your first dance. It’s time for the full on version. All the words; all the flare: everything that will make your dance a magical moment.

Tip: Find your song, use it every time you can at your wedding. Then keep playing it. Every time you hear it it will take you back to everything it meant to be marrying your beloved.

Don’t Have a Special Song? Find One!

So, if you talked over the song thing and no one song emerged as your courting favorite, why not be more deliberate about it?

What if, after working on your reasons for marrying and the promises you would make to form the bedrock of your marriage, you chose a song to celebrate those values and those promises? What if you used it throughout the day to deepen your community’s association (and your own) of your marriage with those qualities? The way our brains work, when you hear that song later, forever after, you will recall how you felt when you married and deepen the connection between the two of you.

Tip: Choose a song that’s really about you and then use it throughout the entire ceremony. The wonderful thing about music is that it can be varied. So, if a song is played by different musicians, or in a different style, you’re suggesting rather than hitting people over the head with it. You don’t want to get too obvious with this. You want to be able to hear it again. And you want to choose it together!

Wedding Song: get it right!

Whatever happened to the notion of a couple’s having a song? Back in the day, you had your song. You’d listened to it when you were courting. You’d danced to it. You’d danced to it at your wedding. When the band asked for requests, you always asked for it and then you danced. Did you know that that’s an excellent way to reinforce the love you felt on the day you married? Every time you take your partner’s hand and gaze into his or her eyes, you go back in time. You go back to when you first got together. You go back to your wedding day. You go back and then you bring forward the memories and the love and that makes marriages better.

Is it because we do so much parallel play these days, each of us with our ipods on full tilt boogie that we don’t have a song that we’ve listened to together? Wedding Priestess decries Continue reading

Wedding Dance: Have Fun and Be Who You Are!

The wedding dance doesn’t need to be this big horrible thing you fear. It can actually be fun. My SweetPea and I took lessons with our friends and got tea in the bargain for 4 weeks in a row. (SweetPea says it was so much fun he wants to do it again. Unfortunately, he’s busy all the time from now until forever, so as much as he’d LIKE to do it again, he’s too busy!)

Don’t add it to the most terrible things that ever happened to you wedding planning list. Let it be fun. This couple certainly did!

Tip: Approach the wedding dance with plans to have a good time. Look, if nothing else, you get to hold your sweetie in your arms and consider being married. If it’s really not working, finish it with a twirl and a dip. Everyone can learn to do a dip. Then kiss. I’ll bet you’re really good kissers.

2nd Tip: Unless you’re really good at this, find a shortened version of your favorite song! Or invite your parents onto the floor halfway through.