We don’t do enough of it. And rather than heed the prods to spend money (who has any of that while you’re planning for a wedding?), you can choose to deepen the sizzle.
Wedding Priestess is the first to admit that she is not a sexpert. I’m a ceremony maven. But I can tell you this. Couples that have active and healthy sex lives, who can talk about their pleasure and take the time to be with one another have a much easier time planning the wedding and better relationships and marriages. I’ll be on the look out for some good experts, but in the meantime here are some things you might think about doing because they’re going to help you keep your sex life active and loving.
- Spend time together out of bed having fun.
- Spend time together in bed not having sex and not watching tv (remember talking?)
- Be tender with one another. Hold hands, kiss, be proud of each other!
- Do things for each other. Sex is more attractive when there aren’t chores and errands piling up.
- Do romantic things that lead toward sex and romantic things that lead nowhere but towards romance.
- Talk about sex problems out of bed.
- Work at pleasing your partner. Find out what rocks their world. Try it!
- Remember that your brain is the largest sex organ we have. Your skin is the second. Seduce yourself and one another.
- Get plenty of sleep.
- Understand that having sex is a great and wonderful thing.
And remember, they’re now thinking that having sex satisfies your hunger for food. So if you’re working at losing weight before you get married, working on your sex life will not only make the whole wedding planning process more fun (oh, boy, if we get this chore out of the way, we can spend tomorrow in bed!) it’ll also have a side benefit of keeping you svelte. there you go.
Tip: Couples that have healthy sex lives, based in mutual affection and pleasure have healthier marriages. Let’s see, have great sex and a healthy marriage? Sounds pretty good to me!
Hey, go check out the article at Examiner.com. I’m celebrating Chloé Yelena Miller and Anna Huckabee Tull. They do wonderful work AND they’re going to be on the radio!
Tip: Hear them both on California Web Radio. The host is interviewing 14 poets in honor of Valentine’s Day along with two authors of relationship books. Program starts at 8. Anna’s being interviewed by Roland about her 1999 Love Song “Missing You (Sexy?)” Thursday Feb. 12, 9:20 PM E.S.T. Chloé is on earlier: 8:20-9 pm E.S.T.
OK, wrote this for my Phila Examiner site in response to yesterday’s post about not enough kissing? No kisses? how horrible. So if you’ve kissed in Philadelphia, I need to hear from you. But if you’ve had a fabulously memorable kissing place somewhere else, let me know! (GP deets only!) we’ll write about it here!
Tip: to work on your kissing style, try kissing.com And then. practice random acts of kissing. Let life sizzle in the January cold!
It’d be even more fun if the article I was quoted in said that there had been a recent upswing in kissing in these United States and that people were spending ‘way too much time locking lips. but hello, not the case.
Wedding Priestess thinks this is important! Check out the image that my friend Lorraine made for our wedding (very close to one year ago) and you’ll see that I’m the kinda girl who thinks kissing matters.
Tip: Valentine’s Day is coming. Get out there and practice! After all, you’re going to have to go public soon! So, smooch already. It’s fun. (but don’t get so engrossed that you forget to go read the article that quotes MOI!)
Yesterday I wrote that part of planning your holidays and creating holiday traditions is a good way to ensure that your relationship solidifies. So here’s the first of your parlor games for your holiday couples’ party: Kissing Games… no not kissing someone else’s partner. Kissing your own. Practicing PDAs!
Set up some categories: movie kiss, shy kiss, wedding kiss, goofy kiss… and here’s an important one: the first kiss. do you remember what that was like? tell the story. Remember. what other kinds of kisses are important to have?
Icky you say? You know, it’s good to practice the romance and to acknowledge that it’s hard work. It’s good to giggle about it, and to giggle about it with other friends. So many people give up kissing when romance deepens to relationship. Kissing becomes prelude rather than a goal in itself. Remember what it was like when you first started kissing. Somehow that degenerates to Quick pecks. nice, but not a meal in themselves! No, long luxurious kisses will go a long way to making life and marriage sweeter!
Tip: call a party of your favorite couples together for a party and parlor games. hold a kissing contest. Figure out prizes. Laugh a lot. Kiss! Laugh some more. Then when your guests go home find ways to add more kissing to your relationship. It’ll do you a world of good!
OK, I admit it, I’m in love with Jingle Bells. I adore them. I love the sound of beautiful bells in the air. They’re certainly seasonal, So, why not use them at the wedding? Let them take the place of bubbles and that silly glass clinking.
Tip: Be over come with that holiday feeling: Use Jingle Bells! The little ones cost almost nothing and you can get a pretty nice one if you want to hand out a decorated one as your favor. (by decorated, I mean decorated with a lovely ribbon.)
Hand them out to your guests when they arrive and suggest they use them when you kiss and then again when you walk down the aisle.
Have guests ring them when you come in the door at the reception and when they want you to kiss. If you haven’t given them to people before, put them in a basket at the cocktail party and ask a couple friends to carry a basket around to hand out to people. The sound is magical!
Hey! What is it? Why have we forgotten that mistletoe thing? It’s your holiday wedding. Hang it everywhere. Give it out as favors. Forget that glass clinking thing. Let people hold up the mistletoe and then you kiss. Then get them back. Hold up your mistletoe and make everyone else kiss. We’ve forgotten how important kissing is. “We’re best friends.” Hey, I have a lot of really good friends. None of them can lay a smacker on me the way my Sweet Pea can. And really, I’m not interested in finding out. But kissing is a lost art. Encourage it. Let your couples remember that they felt this way and got married for a reason too. And there’s no reason why people can’t exchange perfectly appropriate kisses with other people. Parlor games included kissing games for years, even during Victorian Times.
I know, it’s hard for an unmarried person. So work harder at your guest lists! help your friends out! You’re in love, which of your great friends might like your other great friend? Seat them together!
Tip: Buy small packages of of mistletoe as favors and teach people the mistletoe rules (this is a good thing to tuck into the best man or woman speech.) People are old enough to know the rules about appropriate social behavior (and if someone is out of line, there’s nothing more discouraging than an ooh, ugh! said in a carrying kind of voice. It’s much more effective than a smack! and hand a kissing bough onthe dance floor and kissing balls all over the place. Have a good time at your wedding! Giggling at your wedding is generally considered a good thing!