Rose Pedals Bike Weddings

You’ve heard the Wedding Priestess jump up and down about Elizabeth Oakes before. Well, she’s done it again. She’s just opened up Rose Pedals Bike Weddings. It’s fabulous. If you live in her area, or you’re thinking of taking a quick vacation there, you can married very quickly, very stylishly, and very easily.

Follow Elizabeth and elope on your bicycle! Because she lives in California and has a mysteriosa connection so that she can provide a confidential license which requires no witnesses. Is this sounding good yet? Have you gone to look at this? Check out this fabulous photo by Steven Lam (He does all her photography) and then consider whether a huge wedding and lots of stress or a tiny wedding with just the eensiest number of friends and families (enough for a post-ceremonial bike parade!) is what you really want. And after all, you’ll already be in honeymoon territory!


I keep telling the Rev. Ms. Elizabeth that she’s the bees knees. There are only three things keeping me from swiping this notion: 1) i live in a rural area (although remember, i travel), 2) we’re a lot more seasonal than she is and 3) oh, yeah, i forgot, i can’t ride a bike! Somehow the picture of WP furiously pedaling after you on her tricycle isn’t appealing at all! “Wait, hey guys, wait for me!” Oh, right, I’ve done that. Kudos, Madame Bike Priestessa on your Contessa!

Movies, Money, Wedding Budgets

Money and Marriage Advocate, Dr. Taffy Wagner is a personal finances educator. When she goes to the movies she always looks at movies from the perspective of what more could have been shared in the area of finances or what was shared that couples or individuals can use.

There will be regular posts on new and old movies that talk about the money implication. Go check it out here!

Tip: She’s doing the work to show you where you might want to be doing some work about finances in your marriage. Well worth the gander!

What’s wrong with a wedding you can afford?

On Sunday, my friend and colleague, Elizabeth Oakes, wrote an article in which decried soliciting donations for a wedding. It described wedding couples who are getting deals from vendors in exchange for notices on the tables or in the program. huh?

It’s no surprise to anyone here that I charge, and quite handsomely, for my services in crafting and performing wedding ceremonies and helping you create the promises you will keep. It’s also true that I offer DIY options in the forms of books and products. (Please visit my shop for products that can help you craft the wedding ceremony of your dreams!) I have a good track record and my clients tend to have higher rates of marital success because they’ve carefully thought through their promises. I would argue that the one thing you need at a wedding ceremony is a celebrant. It’s my opinion that the right celebrant can make a difference not only in your wedding but also in your relationship going forward.

But favors? You don’t need favors to be married. If you can’t afford to feed 350 people you need either to feed them cake only or to invite fewer people. People are not entitled to expensive weddings, nor do they need them. Most of us aren’t celebrities, we don’t have to have a celebrity wedding.

We will all prosper from having supportive friends at our wedding. But we shouldn’t be buying them nor should they be buying us.

Am I a hypocrite because I had a pot-luck wedding? I don’t think so. Pot-luck weddings are a family tradition. Our community was looking for a party and happy to play wedding. Incredible bonds were created by that wedding among all sorts of unlikely parties. While Steve and I had a wedding we really wanted, our community participated in a community event that was also our wedding. Somehow I’m always happy to make a gift of love and food as part of a celebration, but I’m drawing the line at cold cash. I hope you’ll think about how you want your community to participate in your celebration and what you want to offer them, rather than what they can offer you.

I don’t know, Elizabeth, am I wrong? Is there a difference between pot-luck and cash?

Tip: If you’re not following Elizabeth’s column, you should be. Sign up when you go read her article.

More Blessings from MY Middle-Aged Marriage

I don’t know whether it’s because I hadn’t had children or because my sister had lost her two, leaving only my brother’s two to continue the next generation. Or if it’s because I’m inherently lazy and love the notion of loving someone else’s children (less diapers and college tuitions, doncha know.) But I have harbored the dream of a mate with children long before I met SweetPea.

I know there are people whose dream of Step-Children hasn’t worked out well. One friend has had major disappointments with her partner’s children. 20 years after his divorce, they (the fully grown children with their own grown children) still harbor hopes their parents will get back together. This couple has been together for years, she’s as generous and welcoming as it comes, and they’re having none of it.

HikingBoyYesterday I introduced you to the Queen of Everything. Today, here’s a shot of Hiking Boy. (I know, it’s a little stereotypical, isn’t it? But they’re both California Kids. QOE has hiked as well, and doesn’t wear her crown when she does!)

It’s hard to balance life when kids live far away. I’m just getting to know Selena, Maya and Gary and now Grace and AJ are scooting along, squirming their way into my heart. But the gift of love and of seeing your beloved in another light and loved for who he is, that’s a pretty great gift. Relationships: they’re so much richer than we can understand!

Tip: Keep looking to make more love. It makes the world a far richer place and your life more fun. Here’s GentleBoy so you know it’s not all about Grizzly Adams for AJ! “My” kids have been open and welcoming. And they’re fabulous people. I’m lucky. But my guess is that your beloved has fabulous children as well. After all, your beloved is fabulous!


Middle-Aged Marriage Brings Unexpected Bonuses

So, I don’t know when middle-age starts and stops and I’ve people telling me recently that at 57, I am NOT middle-aged! But since I’m not yet ready for being an elder (and my Witch buddies assure me I’m not a Crone for another 3 years!), I’m claiming middle-age. ANYWAY!

What was very sweet was that my SweetPea came with daughters. And along with the daughters came grandchildren. How great is that? And while I’m not a particularly maternal woman (stop guffawing!) having fabulous, talented daughters is an amazing gift.

The grandkids are fairly special as well. I think we can safely say that we live too far away from them. AJ, almost 2, is relentlessly curious. He’s showing some serious Mitchell AND Land traits. HMMM. I want that, I will work to get it! Grace, could almost have some of my genes: here she is, the Queen of Everything.queenofeverything

Tip: The blessings of marriage are myriad and unexpected. But being tied to strong and interesting adults, who are doing good work and raising nice children? Through a beloved spouse? That makes a life richer. How’s that old hymn go? “There is More Love Somewhere.” Well, there certainly is. So go on out and get yourself some. No reason to hold back.

10 Steps to Building Your Perfect Wedding Ceremony: #3b Gratitude

One of the things we often overlook in wedding ceremonies is the importance of expressing appreciation and gratitude.

You’re getting married to an unbelievable person. If that doesn’t deserve a moment of awestruck wonder and gratitude, what does? It’s an important part of a wedding ceremony.

But equally important is taking the time to thank the people who taught you, to the best of their abilities, to say I love you and to show love. To be love. However mixed up your family, and many are, the fact is, what they wanted most was to love you and see you flourish. For some of those people we have to admit, they only manage that on their best days and they may not have a lot of them.

But most people really do the best they can. Appreciate that. I find two things happen when sincere thanks are expressed:

  1. Parents’ and families’ hearts are warmed by your gratitude. Warm hearts have room for more love!
  2. People who are thanked somehow see you as ready to move on to the next phase of your life, in this case your new family. It softens the inevitable transitions of relationship.

Tip: Thank the peope who brought you this far and who will be there for you in the future. (Because if you hadn’t wanted them to be there, you wouldn’t have invited them.) And you have to hope if the relationships are difficult that your thanking them will ease the relationship. So you not only express your gratitude, you also may better those ties. Not a bad thing at all.