Celebrate the Season: Decorate your Wedding Tables with Bulbs

I hear a lot of whining about the weather these days. And it’s true; winter can seem to go on a long time. But actually it’s the same length as other seasons. It serves an important purpose in the cycle of growth. And if you look around there is promise everywhere. And promise is what weddings are all about. Continue reading

Beware the Wedding Planning Zone

As you get closer to your wedding date it sometimes seems that you drop into a state of wedding zombie-ness…

In the run up to the day, as you’re taking care of those last minute somethings, in stores where other brides and grooms are shopping, it’s easy to look across the aisle at something that isn’t on your list and think wow… wouldn’t that be a nice addition to what we’ve got going on.

Resist!

  1. It’s not in your budget. And those last minute adds are the budget breakers, even $30 at a time!
  2. It’s not in your plan. You very carefully considered what was going to make  your wedding wonderful. You’ve got the elements. No need to gild the lily!
  3. It’s just stuff. Stuff you’re going to have to take home. Stuff you’re going to have to dispose of or recycle. Stuff isn’t going to make your wedding sing, the love you share with your community: your love for one another and your love for them is what’s going to make your wedding remarkable.

Antidote: Call a partner and make a date for romance. Go out, share a drink and stare into one another’s eyes. Go home and practice your kiss and see where that leads. Either or both of these are a lot more fun than stress shopping. (And cheaper!)

What’s a traditional part of your life? Make it part of your ceremony!

When looking to design a ceremony that has meaning and perhaps a bit of wisdom, why not include your own life?

Did the two of you meet at Starbucks through on-line dating? Share a cuppa coffee at your ceremony?

Do you ride bikes together as part of your exercise program? Then come down the aisle on a pedicab — probably the one with the big poofy white dress should ride, but it’ll get a giggle if you go the other way. (I’d practice first, however!)

Don’t over emphasize it, just make it a moment, but acknowledging your life is a good way to help people understand why you’re compatible!

Tip: remember! you want to have a good time at your wedding even as you’re taking it very seriously.

New Years, Weddings and Wedding Priestesses!

Well, Happy New Year, my friends! I seem to have taken a short hiatus (unannounced even to myself). I had a wonderful holiday, full of singing and fmialy and friends and food. Sweetpea and I even did some recording which was so much fun!

But it’s January, and time for putting into motion all the plans and dreams from before the holiday madness intervened. So, look here for more helpful hints and thoughts about your relationship, your wedding and your marriage. You’ll want to check in occasionally on the writing I do for Examiner.com and Over at Ezine articles (check out the right-hand side of the page.) and this week, no really, I promise!, you’ll get a glimpse of my new monthly newsletter (called, what else? The Wedding Priestess!) with all sorts of reflections about gettin’ hitched from me and from some of my most beloved wedding colleagues!

It’s going to be a great year. After all, you’re getting married! Or you’re woroking on a really wonderful relationship! Let’s celebrate together!

Believing in you and in your love,

Ann

Fireworks Champagne Glass

No, you can’t Twitter at the Altar

Sarah (thanks my dear!) posted a link on Facebook about a bride and groom twittering and facebooking at the altar. There’s a video which I can’t bear to watch which shows a young (too young?) minister/celebrant/officiant/something looking on.

Someone else can address the religious aspects of this. If this is a religious ceremony, is it respectful? Clergy, please weigh in on this. If you’ve invited the Divine to show up at your wedding, should She/He have to wait around while you get in touch with people who don’t care because people who do care are at your wedding? I know that there’s a craze in certain traditions for people to twitter during church about church. um, the multitasking thing? not paying attention! um, marriage? really, really important!

The groom said he did it to be funny. Not paying attention at your wedding ceremony to the vows you’re making is not funny, it’s just immature. And there’s that other thing. It’s impolite. To your community, to your celebrant and to that person who just said she/he wants to spend the rest of their life with you.

And why do I think that this is a picture of a wedding where the couple are “cutely” tweeting their vows to one another. Do you see anyone at the table who cares?

Tweet, tweet love aint what it used to be

Tweet, tweet love ain't what it used to be

Tip: Sorry, the Wedding Priestess disagrees. This is not a sweet personal touch in a wedding ceremony. When technology gets your grandma in the nursing home at your wedding, that’s a good use of the tech. When you take time off to show everyone how cute you are, whether that’s with technology or a piece of string, that’s inappropriate!

Money Matters

I recently heard from a bride who had money regrets. Somewhere in the midst of the wedding planning process she had slipped on the “oh, let’s make this more and more beautiful” banana.

End result, she outspent her budget. She’s not the first and she’s not the last.  Unless you decide to make it different. It’s not a great idea to combine wedding party post partum slump with how do I manage my life. It can easily become a bit overwhelming, and lead to tussles with your new spouse.

Tip: As with everything else, a little planning can help this. And that’s not just wedding planning, it’s life and marriage planning. What’s important in your wedding? You’re marrying your beloved. Your job, together with your partner, is to figure out what’s really going to make that work. And then design a celebration that suits the life you’re going to build.

Last thought on Wedding Programs

You don’t need to have a wedding program. They seem to be a fairly recent trend. All through the 80s, when performing weddings in non-church locales, people managed to get married without them.

I succumbed, I admit it. But my wedding ceremony was involved and had responsive readings. (I am the Wedding Priestess, after all!)

But if your wedding ceremony is straightforward, you don’t have to have one. Your bridal party will be introduced at the reception. And they’re not inexpensive, even if you design them.

Tip: consider whether or not you’re having wedding programs because you need them or because the wedding industry thinks you need them.

Add a Dedication to Your Wedding Program

Sometimes there are things you want to say at your wedding that are hard to say out loud. You may have a favorite relative or friend who has died and who will not be able to be with you that day. You may not want or be able to say the words yourself or to hear them from your celebrant. Your wedding program is a lovely place to put a short (hear that, short) dedication to them. “Today’s joyous celebration is dedicated to the memory of Kate’s grandmother, Mimi Dodge, who taught her so much about living life to the fullest.” That’s plenty.

Or you may want to dedicate your ceremony to the people who have inspired the two of you to marry by their wonderful examples of lifelong relationship. You can mention some, or you can allow everyone to assume that they’re the people who inspired you. Which will actually have a great impact on their marriages.

Tip: Whatever you choose to do with a dedication, keep it short!

Use Your Wedding Program to Let People Know What’s Going On

Three prime reasons for a wedding program are to give people

  1. the order of service
  2. the name of music and poetry pieces being used
  3. any longer readings in which they’ll participate

You do not want to publish short responses or the poems being read. People are congenitally incapable of listening when they’ve got reading matter in their hands. You want people listening to your words. They’re at your service to hear you make your promises to one another, not to read a lovely poem. Help them out!

Tip: Keep the reading material to your wedding at a minimum and you’ll have a far more engaged crowd!