You’ve heard the Wedding Priestess jump up and down about Elizabeth Oakes before. Well, she’s done it again. She’s just opened up Rose Pedals Bike Weddings. It’s fabulous. If you live in her area, or you’re thinking of taking a quick vacation there, you can married very quickly, very stylishly, and very easily.
Follow Elizabeth and elope on your bicycle! Because she lives in California and has a mysteriosa connection so that she can provide a confidential license which requires no witnesses. Is this sounding good yet? Have you gone to look at this? Check out this fabulous photo by Steven Lam (He does all her photography) and then consider whether a huge wedding and lots of stress or a tiny wedding with just the eensiest number of friends and families (enough for a post-ceremonial bike parade!) is what you really want. And after all, you’ll already be in honeymoon territory!
I keep telling the Rev. Ms. Elizabeth that she’s the bees knees. There are only three things keeping me from swiping this notion: 1) i live in a rural area (although remember, i travel), 2) we’re a lot more seasonal than she is and 3) oh, yeah, i forgot, i can’t ride a bike! Somehow the picture of WP furiously pedaling after you on her tricycle isn’t appealing at all! “Wait, hey guys, wait for me!” Oh, right, I’ve done that. Kudos, Madame Bike Priestessa on your Contessa!
I don’t know whether you’ve noticed, but lots of us who go to weddings have. Weddings are getting louder and louder. I don’t always stay for receptions, but if I do, I come home hoarse and deafened. I wish the DJs and bands would pay a bit of attention.
So, bringing your dog to your wedding reception is not necessarily an act of kindness. And if you have people who have companion dogs you want to figure out how to make the experience pleasant for them. Part of what you’re doing at a your wedding is providing for each guest’s experience. In a pup’s case (and in the case of grateful fellow attendees) that may mean turning down the PA.
Tip: Really consider if it’s important to have your dog with you at your wedding, whether you want them at the ceremony only where it’s all about your hearts. You may want to go ahead and have your fun without your furry companion. (Sorry Ms. Muttons, I know the grazing at receptions is pretty fabulous!)
This particular article was coming anyway, but was made slightly more urgent by Miss Mutton’s joyful consumption of the chicken breasts on her auntie’s (no her other aunt) counter.
Miss Muttons and her compatriots are joyful ominvores. (One of Muttons’ mottos is “I never met a doughnut I wouldn’t eat.”) So at wedding receptions, should your dog pals be attending, you have to be careful how much food they get to eat and particularly how much sweet food they’re given or they find. Dogs can’t process sugar. So they’ll suffer if allowed unfetttered access to wedding cake. (miss muttons reports to her sorrow that wooden barricades around cakes works to prevent dogs from eating entire confections.)
Tip: It’s great to want your dog at your wedding. You just need to remember that you’re going to be expending a lot of energy and focus on getting married, so someone needs to be looking out for your BFF. She wants to be healthy after the wedding!
This is exactly how relaxed you want a dog at your wedding to feel. This means you need to provide Ms Muttons or her friends the things she needs to be relaxed. It also means you need to avoid the things that make her really uncomfortable.
I did a wedding once where an extremely well-behaved shepherd did ring duty. Unfortunately, for both the dog and the musician, they had added a flute piece very close to the ring exchange. Poor pup put his paws over his ears and howled. Poor musician was in tears. Luckily, this happened during the rehearsal, so they were able to have a Friend of the Dog remove the puppela after the recessional and bring the puppela back in for his job.
It did mean the handler missed the wedding. But the dog had a much better time.
Tip: think carefully about the dog’s likes and dislikes before subjecting them to a wedding. If large crowds bother your dog, it’s not fair to invite them. If certain music irritates, you can’t do both. You need to take good care of your dog and not just consider your own needs. What’s important to you may or may not be important to your dog!
Yesterday, thanks to some prodding to my beloved great-step-niece by marriage, I discussed a common canine responsibility at weddings: ring bearer. Here’s another one: Escort.
At more than one wedding the Chief Dog Friend has waltzed her Person down the aisle. In some ways, this clarifies what’s really true about weddings. Historically, brides were chattel and “given away” by the patriarch to the new head of her family. That’s a bit passé. But a Dog accompanies one of her Persons to the new life with another of her Persons. The Dog goes along. This is a good metaphor for what happens with families. Each Person becomes a member of the other Person’s family. (The Dog, while fiercely loyal to her Persons, is a member of the world family simply by nature and wagging.)
Tip: Demand a new and beautiful leash for this. Only you get to decide if it’s a good thing if that leash is covered in flowers or simply a lovely length of appropriate colored cord. Dogs know when they look silly and when they look gorgeous. Most Dogs will eat their way out of silly. And that’s a good thing!
Fall is a wonderful time for a wedding but it can be chilly. Wedding and bridesmaids dresses are rarely built for the cold. Here’s a piece of tull to slip on darling isn’t exactly going to help ward off the weather.
And if you’re nervous, you’re often colder.
Answer? Shawls. Pashminas, fake fur, fleece, wool jersey. cuddle up. you’ll be so glad you did!
Tip: Get an extra length of your wedding dress material, find some warm and lovely lining and have a dressmaker sew a shawl. it can be a simple rectangle, but oh, so warm.
Money and Marriage Advocate, Dr. Taffy Wagner is a personal finances educator. When she goes to the movies she always looks at movies from the perspective of what more could have been shared in the area of finances or what was shared that couples or individuals can use.
There will be regular posts on new and old movies that talk about the money implication. Go check it out here!
Tip: She’s doing the work to show you where you might want to be doing some work about finances in your marriage. Well worth the gander!
On Sunday, my friend and colleague, Elizabeth Oakes, wrote an article in examiner.com which decried soliciting donations for a wedding. It described wedding couples who are getting deals from vendors in exchange for notices on the tables or in the program. huh?
It’s no surprise to anyone here that I charge, and quite handsomely, for my services in crafting and performing wedding ceremonies and helping you create the promises you will keep. It’s also true that I offer DIY options in the forms of books and products. (Please visit my shop for products that can help you craft the wedding ceremony of your dreams!) I have a good track record and my clients tend to have higher rates of marital success because they’ve carefully thought through their promises. I would argue that the one thing you need at a wedding ceremony is a celebrant. It’s my opinion that the right celebrant can make a difference not only in your wedding but also in your relationship going forward.
But favors? You don’t need favors to be married. If you can’t afford to feed 350 people you need either to feed them cake only or to invite fewer people. People are not entitled to expensive weddings, nor do they need them. Most of us aren’t celebrities, we don’t have to have a celebrity wedding.
We will all prosper from having supportive friends at our wedding. But we shouldn’t be buying them nor should they be buying us.
Am I a hypocrite because I had a pot-luck wedding? I don’t think so. Pot-luck weddings are a family tradition. Our community was looking for a party and happy to play wedding. Incredible bonds were created by that wedding among all sorts of unlikely parties. While Steve and I had a wedding we really wanted, our community participated in a community event that was also our wedding. Somehow I’m always happy to make a gift of love and food as part of a celebration, but I’m drawing the line at cold cash. I hope you’ll think about how you want your community to participate in your celebration and what you want to offer them, rather than what they can offer you.
I don’t know, Elizabeth, am I wrong? Is there a difference between pot-luck and cash?
Tip: If you’re not following Elizabeth’s column, you should be. Sign up when you go read her article.
Sorry, my dears, i seem to have gotten caught in that whirlpool known as the end of summer hurry up. I’ll be back at work with something borrowed, something true tomorrow! Hope your end of summer was a wonderful thing! Continue reading
Keep your heart open for my friend Kjell, he’s having ablation tomorrow and lots of tests today. Continue reading