Nine of 1-10: The Work of Wedding Vows

The old saw, “Love means never having to say I’m sorry,” has pretty much been consigned to the trash heap along with the rest of the rusty notions about relationship. The fact is good relationship thrives on each partner’s ability to be self reflective. Here’s what that means with regard to your wedding vows:

That you will recognize, admit, repent and make amends to transgressions, both large and small of those vows.

Being able to say “oh, I could have done that differently, I’m sorry if my actions hurt you” is an incredibly important activity in a marriage. Obviously, there are times, when transgressions are larger, that you will need more than an ‘aw shucks, honey, I didn’t mean not to listen (when you said it hurt you that I was having an affair!), but even when you blow past the intentions of your promises, you want to reconsider and recommit to their value in your life.

I found someone to agree with me as I was running past twitter on my way over here: Lonnie Hodge: “I think true integrity lies in the ability to express remorse –especially when there is nothing to gain except the truth.” But in marriage what there is to gain is a great relationship.

Tip: Keep your marriage vows close to your heart and your mind. You know it’s not always the big ways we offend our vows that breaks them down. It’s the tiny little slights and indifferences. How well do you cherish your partner? How does that reflect on you? Do you want to be a person who doesn’t keep your vows, who doesn’t cherish your partner? No. you don’t. So, you want to do your work here!

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