Having a shared belief system is a good indicator for marital success. It means that you share common resources for getting through when you encounter obstacles. But there are many successful marriages that don’t have that commonality. One of the things that can help build spiritual intimacy in marriage is to share practice or observance. So, people with different belief systems may take solace in sharing practices: whether that’s meditation, yoga or simply a walk in the woods when looking for reflection time.
Whatever your belief system, here are some things that are fairly true about people and what they believe, which are good to keep in mind as you and your beloved figure out what works spiritually at your house:
- What a person believes is central to who they are.
- Who they are and what they believe are unlikely to change.
- You fell in love with who they are and what they believe.
- It is not fair to ask them to change such a fundamental truth about them.
- It’s pretty unrealistic to think that that’s likely to happen.
- You need to be clear that you have compatible belief systems because it is difficult to find shared values and shared lives without them.
- People with unlike but compatible belief systems can have similar spiritual practices that make it quite easy to share life.
- You cannot make disparate belief systems work if you can’t find a way to talk about them.
Tip: Explore ways to be together in your most reflective moments. Find ways to talk about what you believe and how that impacts your life. There will be hard times and you’re going to need one another and need to know how to comfort each other. You love your partner. You want to do this!