Keep Planning Your Marriage: Hanukkah – Day 6

For many people, by Day 6, Hanukkah gift giving is done and observance is all that is left. And that’s a wonderful thing! Because that’s what we’re doing here in this column is hoping to help you pay attention to the holidays. By paying attention to them and participating in the customs (observing) we begin to create the rhythm of our marriage year.

Spend some time today, maybe the 30 minutes when the candles are lit, figuring out which of the holidays will be important ones for you to observe? What are your spiritual ties to these holidays as opposed to your personal ones? There will be secular holidays and religious holidays. You get to map out your year and decide what the important markers will be. Know that as you establish those markers, you’re establishing anchors for your marriage. If you have a marital tradition of celebrating Ground Hog’s day with a party, that keeps you both involved in the marriage. It sounds a bit superficial, but actually symbols are very important to the human psyche.  So figure out where in the year you want to have more fun, or remember your community or the less fortunate and make some holiday plans!

Here’s a fun one: Tracy Bagatelle-Black wrote: “Okay, this is a Hanukah tradition for when the couple has kids.  At my house growing up we had the Hanukah Fairy come every night to bring presents.  She would fly through a window upstairs and give the presents to our mom who would bring them downstairs for us.  (Only grownups could see the Hanukah Fairy.) It was a great tradition to grow up with and we never felt gypped not having Santa.”

Now Wedding Priestess things the Hanukkah Fairy is a great idea. And why wait until you have children? The idea that it’s the adults who can see the magical is a marvelous conceit! So, introduce her or him into your household as the gift giving authority and have a good time. “No really darling, I spoke to the Hanukkah Fairy and He assured me that you needed and wanted a ghastly peagreen scarf!” or “Honey, the Hanukkah Fairy reminded me that we haven’t talked yet about how we want to arrange our charitable giving in our marriage…” and then of course that old favorite: “I put it right here, the Hanukkah Fairy must have moved it!” Hurry up, she’s only got another couple day of gift giving, inspiring and mischief making this Hanukkah season. Then she goes back to her work in Hanukkah Fairy R&D.

Tip: Celebrate together, create together, laugh together. Just one more way to move from “I do” to happily and healthily ever after.

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