I’ve always felt that it’s important that the two of you make the same wedding vows to each other. There’s another part of the ceremonies I create with my clients (the Statement of Intent), where each of the partner speaks in his or her own voice. It’s really important to have your individual voices at the ceremony, but when you come down to your wedding vows, they need to be simple, direct and well worked out — and most importantly agreed upon. What does it mean to care tenderly for one another or to honor. What does that mean to you? What does that mean to your partner? Simple wedding vows and a deep understanding of those vows are what will make your marriage work most easily.
Tip: When you’re creating your vows, find the two or three central values in your dream marriage and use them as the basis for your wedding vows. Of course, this means you’ll have a lot of work to do fleshing out the dream before you can find those central values, but hey! what if part of your wedding planning were about marriage planning? Why not, in the midst of the frenzy concentrate on the sweetness of your love? You’ll get more great results from focusing on your vows than you will on your favors!