As you create your marriage covenant, consider the metaphors you are using for marriage in your wedding ceremony. Then symbolize that metaphor on your Marriage Covenant. My husband and I used photos of poppy paintings that my mother had painted. Mom’s dementia left her unable to be completely present at our wedding, the paintings symbolized both a commitment to passion and an understanding that we bring to our marriage a rich heritage from both our families. (Our recognition of his Quaker family came in our use of Plain Language in our vows. This is an important and surprisingly quite difficult commitment to develop and maintain.) Another couple’s metaphor was the draftsman’s rendering of their revitalization of the house they had purchased but into which they had not yet moved. The house was entitled SunFlower house and the Sunflowers were a prominent design item. They were committed to creating a home together. The creation of home and family was a central theme that we wove into their wedding ceremony.
Tip: As you prepare to be married, take a look at the central values of your relationship. Decide what metaphor has the strongest link to those values for the two of you. Here’sthe thing about metaphors: they have life! They will support and encourage you throughout your marriage. Those Poppies hang in our bedroom. The document (with the poppies) hangs downstairs. They are a vivid reminder and encouragement of our commitment. This summer whenever we would encounter poppies in the world, we remembered. “ah we’re married!” What’s going to do that for you?