If you’re being married, you need to get the protection for your new family.
1. Legal marriage: Both of you need to go and get your license. You might consider having the JP do the paper work right then and there, because you have to show up at the courthouse. Years from now, it will be your wedding ceremony and reception that you remember, not who signed your license and why there’s a different date. Get your paperwork done so that you can get your health insurance benefits! Years later when your children ask, why is the date on your marriage license different from your wedding day, you can respond that the paperwork was done to protect your family unit, and the wedding was when you joined your hearts and started your marriage.
2. No access or inappropriate to have civil marriage? You still need to get the protection you can. See your lawyer. Get power of attorney and health documents. Write a will. Do what you need to do so that your family is protected.
Tip: Find out what the legal requirements are for marriage in your state. Get your paperwork out of the way. If you have no access or civil marriage is inappropriate, you still have work to do. All of you: do you need a prenup? This is not stuff you want to hammer out 5 minutes before you make your vows to one another. Get the paperwork done early.