Hey there, girlfriends,
(have you noticed that I’m just not cool enough to have gurlfriends, ah well… that’s the glory of being a middle-aged bride!)
I said in the last post that it wasn’t just about wedding vows, wedding ceremonies and even the marriage. Sometimes it’s about the joy of being in love.
Part of the problem of being a MAB (and part of what keeps us sane, if we’re willing to be sane) is that no one is giving us the summer off to “plan our wedding.” Well, thank heavens, can you imagine how over planned a wedding would be if WE had nothing else to do but focus on it? Whew! But like every other bride, we get pretty bad about making time for our spouse to do anything other than plan the party. After all, time is limited!
In my case, I was juggling my writing, my care for my parents (my dad and I did manage to get Barbara Kingsolver’s Animal, Vegetable, Miracle read to my dad and eat fun meals with them), and wedding planning on a mighty slim budget! Steve, my sweetie beloved is a drummer who has some disabilities. So he plays 4-5 nights a week and sleeps until about noon. That gave us about 3 hours of decent time when we could plan together, which was my prime time to visit my parents. Aaaaaagh.
So, we had to figure it all out over the phone as I was (unsafely) navigating the winter roads in PA with a cell phone in my hand.
Here’s what we didn’t do enough of: spend fabulous time together! It was sometimes hard for me to remember that I love Steve extraordinarily when I was trying to pull it all together… after all HE wasn’t driving to the town 45 minutes away to get fabric for tablecloths. (if fact, Steve didn’t CARE if we had tablecloths! He’s an old hippy!)
So do what I say, not what I did, ‘cause I flunked this! Plan luxurious time — luxurious in length and in occupation — where you’re NOT focusing on the wedding. You’re engaged. You’re being married. Give them something to talk about. Let people say you’re in love… oh, and ps… be in love and celebrate it. Do what makes you both really happy!
Girlfriends, We’ve got it all going on! It’s doable. I believe in us. And we sure deserve it!