Even though I create and perform wedding ceremonies for a living, I had some how never thought I would marry myself. And then Bingo, Ann meets the drummer of her dreams and poof! She’s getting married.
I don’t know that Steve and I would have bothered to marry. Our lives were perking along, weddings are expensive, we live separately, why marry? But then circumstances: My family and then my wider community had a series of deaths. This year I lost 4 close friends between the ages of 49 and 64. Only one was cancer. The rest were surprising and sudden. And then of course the handful of assorted 80-90 year olds who are ready to leave, but whose absences are keenly felt anyway. When my sister’s husband died of a heart attack at the end of May, it completed a horrible 13-year cycle. In 13 years she had lost her entire family: 2 children and a husband. It was devastating. When my friend Maggie died a week later she left a grieving husband and a 15 year old daughter. Life seemed bereft of joy.
I had had cancer 2 years ago and was only now beginning to get well. No cancer side effects, but horrible hormonal changes that up-ended my whole life. My father was 92 and frail. Steve and I decided that our family and our community needed something to celebrate. We loved each other wildly. Hmmm. Seemed pretty clear-cut. It was time to marry!
I’m going to take us through the saga, because one of the things I learned in the midst of this journey is that middle-aged brides (and I don’t think I’m alone in this) have different trials and tribulations and triumphs than 25 year olds. This is true whether we’re being married for the first time or the 3rd. So why not acknowledge the realities and plan differently, celebrate differently and slide into the finish being fabulously happy and beautiful?
It’s doable. I believe in us. And we sure deserve it!
And so do you!
Believing in you and in your love,