What’s with the name you ask? Well, if you remember the rhyme that reminds brides what’s necessary for the perfect wedding day, which will ensure the perfect marriage, goes something like this:
“Something old, something new,
Something borrowed, something blue
And a sixpence in her shoe.”
I’m counting on you to borrow your grandmother’s hanky, or wear your mother’s dress, no bride or groom ever got through their wedding without buying SOMETHING new. The six pence should be taped to the bottom of your shoe rather than put in it if you want to avoid blisters. Here we’re going to examine something Borrowed and throw out something blue for something True… something that truly represents me. (although, if you know what the blue stands for, why you were to wear something blue, post a comment, and I’ll send you my Forgiveness Prayer which suggests a healthy way to end a spat with your beloved.)
In this blog, I want to talk to you about how using tradition as your guidepost — tradition that has influenced your life… and then transformed to fit the life you lead today — will not only make your ceremony more interesting and more memorable, it will also make it more useful.
Scroll through the wedding listings on Google or Yahoo. You’ll see the word romantic a lot. And weddings should be romantic. And, my dears, admit it, they are, no matter how they’re done. People standing before their communities pledging to love and honor one another — romance doesn’t get much better than that! Even the corniest, emptiest weddings melt your heart when the couple turns to one another with hope and awe and trust. Oh, yeah, and love! 20 years later, it still thrills me to see love enable people to push past limitations and fears and dare to make a life together. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating corny, empty weddings. Weddings can and should be personal and beautiful and appropriate to you and your relationship. (to look at different possibilities, go look at my web page: http://www.annkeelerevans.org/weddings/rituals.php/)
Useful, however, is not a word that you see listed next to wedding ceremonies. But useful is important! It’s important to create a ceremony that can form — and keep forming — the bedrock of your marriage. Marriage traditions were formed in the image of the belief system and the cultural heritage of groups. No matter how far you’ve moved from the your community of origin, you still carry your beginnings with you. When you begin to transform those traditions to reflect the people you are today, the love you have for one another and the life you’re going to lead is enriched and supported. So, borrow those traditions, but make them true to who you are. That will make those traditions work for you as you undertake to live happily and healthily ever after!
Your love deserves nothing less!
Believing in you and your love,